Gastronomy - Heaven is in the top drawer

I consider myself an adventurous type. I like to eat exotic foods and I am not at all judgmental about what I put in my mouth. Forget those starving starlets...they are so boring! Water and air, again?

In captivity the daily gruel consists of the most unpalatable dry, brown, bland food mis-labeled as Chicken and Rice or Lamb and Rice combos. Nothing of these does it resemble. I find myself hard pressed to find a morsel of some such succulent poultry or whole grain. But beggars can't be chooser. I being of the begging breed - dog (or le chien en Francaise).

So when the guards aren't looking - I experiment. I stop at nothing to find something of taste and sophistication. Can you blame me after my daily rations? I've sampled anything and everything; thread, hair, sticks, rocks, dead insects, mud, other dog's droppings, glass, tissue, flower petals, cigarette butts, chocolate, leaves, carrots, and the list goes on. But what I have found I most desire to put in my mouth isn't quite edible. It is the sock. Ohhh the wonders. What a marvelous treat. Chewy, succulent, and aromatic - bliss does exist and like heaven it is indeed above, but in a drawer.